For two years Corporal Gwenaëlle of the 1st Spahis Regiment was the only woman in the 'amphibious engagement support platoon', the regiment's amphibious combat and intelligence unit. But having held on for that long and done a lot of hard thinking, she's now left this mounted combat unit (which has been shifting to a dismounted format since October 2020) because “it's extremely tiring, it's really exhausting me and it requires you to make many, many sacrifices.” In addition she thinks she's “too much of a burden” for her comrades in arms. But she stresses that if she had to do it again “I would do exactly the same thing. I didn't join up for a calm life!”

This young woman, 1m58 tall for 52kg, was the platoon's radio operator, so not only did she, like her male colleagues, have to carry equipment which weighs up to 20kg, but she had an additional 6 to 7kg of radio equipment to carry. “I used to be a firm believer that a woman can do exactly the same things as a man, but today I've realised that's not true. I don't have the same physical capacities as a man and even if I train really hard, I think I'm still a little borderline for the types of missions that we're being asked to do,” she admits.

Her commanding officers tried to dissuade her from leaving the platoon, arguing that even if she doesn't have the same physical capacities as her colleagues, she has “many other qualities, notably the most remarkable psychological and mental strength, nerves of steel, tenacity in effort, and unshakeable loyalty,” according to Lt. Côme, her former platoon commander. But her decision is firm. “There's no point sticking around. I've learned an incredible amount and I'm going to miss this unit, but I've made my decision.”

Gwenaëlle chose the 1st Spahis Regiment, based in Valence at the foot of the Alps, because it's the regiment closest to where she grew up. She'd dreamt of joining the military since childhood, finally attaining her objective in a somewhat roundabout fashion. She sat a vocational baccalaureate in horticulture and then did a degree in sustainable agriculture with environmental certification. “I really enjoyed it but didn't fancy doing a Master's degree. I was 22, wanted adventure, to see the world, so I went to London as an au-pair and during my time-off I'd travel around Europe.” Aged 24 and her military dream still vivid, Gwenaëlle finally decided to make a move. She sat the recruitment tests for the Saint-Maixent non-commissioned officers' school but having poorly prepared, she failed. “So I joined up as a rank and file soldier.” She's now thinking of sitting that exam again.

She chose to be a radio operator, so it was in this role that she first deployed to Mali. “But during the four month deployment, I spent two months working in an office, exactly what I was trying to avoid!” she exclaims. It was during this deployment Gwenaëlle realised what she really wanted was to have a combat role and for that she needed to change her speciality. On her return from Mali in 2018 she passed the elementary military certificate which allowed her to move up the ranks to corporal. But after reflexion, she opted to remain a radio operator “because they're needed everywhere” but also to put herself forward as a candidate for the engagement support platoon the regiment was creating in order to align itself with the six other regiments of the 6th light armoured brigade. She passed all the tests but there then followed a debate amongst the army hierarchy, some believing a woman in a combat unit could be problematic. These procrastinations finally ended with her acceptance into the platoon as both radio operator and combatant. “I got what I wanted,” she nods. Lt. Côme adds that “the doubts regarding her legitimacy in the platoon were very quickly lifted by her dedication and total engagement during training and her mastery of the procedures as well as her ability to surpass her own physical and mental limits.”

In 2019 she was deployed to Mali again, but this second time she was not only accustomed to the heat and smells that had been such a surprise the first time around but she also came armed with, amongst other things, conditioner so her hair didn't get as damaged! “In 1st Mali I was at a forward base and was agreeably surprised by our living conditions. We had a tent with compartments so each person had their private space. There was another female corporal so we helped each other out. For showering, for example, we'd made a screen with chicken wire and tarpaulin! But in 2nd Mali the forward post was much more rustic: there were no compartments in the tent and I was the only woman with seven blokes. So for showering outwith the forward post I'd make myself a shower unit by stretching tarps between two vehicles. The guys found it really cool and used it too!” she giggles. Gwenaëlle adds that she'd keep her sports bra on even at night so that she could get up quickly if necessary.

In fact, very conscious of the fact that in an attack “they'll go for the woman” she'd hide her gender with her helmet, sunglasses and a tagelmust which also protected her from the sand and the wind. “But when we entered a nomadic settlement, on the contrary I'd take it all off so the women could see that I was a woman too. It broke the ice.”

In answer to my question concerning relations with her male comrades, Gwenaëlle admits she can seem cold and distant at first, which surprises me because that's not at all how she comes across during our friendly conversation on WhatsApp. But she explains that “this is the way I protect myself and then nobody bothers me.” Once she has built up a circle of friends, she can put her guard down.

The 27-yr old recognises that “the army teaches us many, many things” and remarks the most notable are “that it has taught me to know myself, to prove that I am resilient, that I can handle emotional shocks.” Earlier she had briefly mentioned the death of her platoon colleague, Corporal Ronan Pointeau, killed in Mali on 2nd November 2019 in an attack against his light armoured vehicle. It was Gwenaëlle who, better at absorbing the psychological shock than her comrades, took over as driver, a role left vacant by the death of Pointeau and the sanitary evacuation of another comrade in shock. She stayed on as driver until the end of the deployment. “I held it together thanks to the support of my family and friends. I got so many presents that Christmas in Mali, it was heartwarming,” she smiles.

It may seem strange but Gwenaëlle was not a sporty youngster. She even tended to avoid sports whenever possible! “A year before walking into the recruitment centre I hired a coach, Jimmy. He taught me a lot,” she recounts, adding that she called on him again when she was preparing her candidature for the engagement support platoon. “Today sports are vital to me. Practising sport in Mali was a real escape!”